Relationship Tip of the Week: Fear Regret More than Rejection

He loves me... he loves me not...

When I was a little girl, I’d figure out whether a boy liked me by pulling the petals off a daisy one by one… “he loves me… he loves me not…” all the while paralyzed by fear and unable to actually do anything about the object of my kid-crush.

Over the years, I’ve met so many men and women who keep this Daisy Complex going well into their 20s, 30s and beyond, letting great relationships slip away.

Here’s my advice — regret is a whole lot worse than rejection. Check out my recent article on BustedHalo and get out there and go for it!

September issue of Women’s Health magazine…

I know so many of you have sleepless nights worrying about the demise of the Alpha Male… well, get your zzz’s because there’s nothing to fear: As a modern society, we’re adapting quite nicely to new gender roles. Check out my quotes in this month’s issue of Women’s Health magazine.

He saved a billion lives… do you know his name?

Quick — can you give me the latest on the divorce drama between Jon & Kate Gosselin? Or why Paula Abdul isn’t going to be judging this year’s American Idol? Odds are you can answer those questions but you can’t tell me the name of the man who died recently after saving more than a billion lives.

I’ll give you another hint: He was one of only six people ever to win the Nobel Peace Prize, the Presidential Medal of Freedom and the Congressional Gold Medal.

You can probably name most of the other five recipients of this trio of honors — Martin Luther King, Jr., Elie Wiesel, Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, Aung San Suu Kyi — but odds are you’ve never heard this man’s name.

You’ve never heard of him, yet when he died he was lauded as history’s “greatest human being.” You’ve never heard of him, yet he changed your life.

Dr. Christine Whelan, Dr. Norman Borlaug and Dr. Elizabeth Whelan

Dr. Norman Borlaug, who died September 12, 2009, at the age of 95, was humble and kind, and devoted his intelligence not to getting rich himself but to transforming the lives of those who needed help the most.

We spend so much of our time focusing on the goings-on of celebrities and reality TV stars — and that’s OK; it’s only human — but occasionally it’s important to give tribute to a person who is really changing our world, quietly, with no spotlight or paparazzi documenting their journey.

Check out my whole piece–including a link to a West Wing tribute here: http://www.bustedhalo.com/features/he-saved-a-billion-lives/

“Single” Documentary: Sept. 15 release date

“Single,” an excellent documentary about single life in America, is being released in less than two weeks — and I’m one of the experts interviewed, so check it out! According to the press release, the documentary by filmmakers Richard Atkinson and Jane Scandurra is already winning awards including the Official Selection at the 2008 New York Filmmakers festival and Official Selection at the Berkshire International Film Festival and was called “…a really cool, cool documentary…” by Fox TV.

With over 100 million single adults in the U.S. – and a $1.6 trillion dollars in annual consumer spending – “Single” provides a timely and comprehensive look into what it means to be single in America and how singles regard marriage. Because today’s life is more complex, intense and demanding than ever, maintaining a lasting relationship has never been more challenging. Through thought-provoking interviews with a cast of social experts, performers and singles themselves, “Single” addresses the complexities of relationships in today’s world.

For more on the documentary (and academics, this would be a great one to use in any Family/Sociology class) visit: http://www.singlefilm.com/

SWANS® stories

Just thought I’d share bits of two emails I recently received from folks who have read Marry Smart: The Intelligent Woman’s Guide to True Love and heard my recent interviews, teleseminars and lectures.

The first email comes from Sarah, a SWANS in her early 30s, who has just finished Marry Smart: The Intelligent Woman’s Guide to True Love:

Kudos on such a well-written and successful effort!

I certainly appreciate the message that just because we are successful, suit-wearing overachievers does not necessarily mean that the man who is right for us is cut from the same cloth. It’s okay to date a musician or a blue-collar guy, as long as he appreciates us and the relationship is balanced. Some of the stories gave me the courage to swallow my pride and sign up for Match.com [and] I am meeting someone for coffee tomorrow…

I’ve passed the book along to a fellow SWANS – my best friend from college, also an attorney, and the last of my friends to still be single. Though she is the Samantha type and not at all bothered by her
status as a SWANS. (I’m the Charlotte.)

And Sarah sent me an email just yesterday telling me that her Match.com date had gone well, and the two are looking forward to a second date. I’ve asked her to keep me posted–here’s hoping for a SWANS® Success Story soon!!

The second email came from Carol, a 49-year-0ld divorce SWANS®, who wrote to me after listening to my teleseminar from a few months back:

I really enjoyed being part of the call and also to learn so much about where we are really are in the dating reality. … I shared some of the information with friends and we hosted a “Bring a Friend” party in July for 18 single people.  It went really well and hope to do more and we all had a lot of fun.

Thanks to both ladies for the kudos and emails!

Recession Romance stories

Check out my column this week on BustedHalo.com about readers survey responses and stories about love and money in the last year.

Got other stories to share?

Send them my way because I think there’s some more TV lined up for this month, and I’d love to get your stories out there.