Home of Dr. Christine B. Whelan

Make Time for Love

It’s Wednesday, and that means it’s time for a mid-week relationship pick-me-up…

Today’s relationship tip:

Think Relationships are Important? Start Acting That Way

You’re busy and stressed. You’ve got meetings and conference calls during the day — and then rush to get out of the office to social events, volunteering or classes.

You know what’s probably not on your to-do list?

“Call my husband to say hi and tell him I love him.”


“Email my boyfriend to say it’s a crazy day but I look forward to seeing him.”

In his seminal self-help book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey talks about the difference between urgent and important things on our to-do list. When your boss calls, that’s urgent. When it’s 1:59 and you’re scrambling to get to your 2 p.m. presentation, that’s urgent.

But there are many important things that often fall by the wayside in our busy days. Oftentimes we don’t make time to think ahead in our careers — or our personal lives.

One of the top fears that men have about SWANS (Strong Women Achievers No Spouse) is that SWANS have too much going on to make time for them, and for their relationship. When SWANS seem too busy for the great guy in their lives, they are confusing urgent with important.

Is your relationship important to you? Do you want to get married? Do you want to stay married?

This week, consider prioritizing what’s important.

The Next Steps

• Single? Set aside some time to join an online dating site. Reach out to a few friends you haven’t talked to in a while and make a plan to go out to a party with some folks you don’t know. When you want to run the marathon, you spend hours training to prepare, right?  When you want to ace a presentation at work, you get organized and carve our the time to do your best work, right? If finding love is important to you, it’s time to make it a priority.

• In a relationship? Plan something that always trumps whatever else is going on. A Sunday afternoon coffee-date each week? Even if it means going back to the office afterward, or going to a different yoga class, show the guy that you care enough to keep the date.

• Single or married, put in the effort. Time and energy is something that can’t be bought. Show you are thinking about the one you love, even when you’re busy. Quick emails or text messages — or even a short, old-fashioned phone call — to say hi makes a difference.

• While your spouse or significant other can be a great support, limit the amound of work stress you bring home. Talkng about your hobbies or your friends — not just office politics — at dinner sends the signal that you’re not one-dimensional.

• You can’t always be cute and perky at the end of a long day, but you can make small efforts to show that your relationship is important — no matter how busy you are. On those really trying days when you can’t muster the energy to make sparkling conversation, you can listen instead.

January 21, 2009 - Posted by | Relationship Tips

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